The dignity of being a man!

It was 25th January, 2009. I was coming back from my home (Orissa) after a brief break to Ahmedabad by a train in the second class compartment. I was not in a great mood...the break was too short for my liking. To make matters worse someone would come every other hour with his/her begging bowl. I always have this disliking for begging (I don't have any disliking for those who beg though). I was engrossed in an argument within myself.....
.....Why would someone beg?
.....Is this alright?
.....Is it ok to give alimony?

After a long monologue, I decided, it is is ok if I give alimony (which I do most of the time). I thought in most cases, one would beg because of one's inability to earn and the lack of earning opportunity. To the question that what would one be doing with the money so earned (some people fear that the money is misutilized), I gave the beneift of doubt to the beggar; I assumed the money is not misutilized as I have no idea; and in any case, one is free to do whatever one wishes to do with his/her earning!

I was reminded of the recent movie 'Slumdog Millionnaire' and the underworld hand in it.....the big business behind begging.

But I somehow justified evrything and thought that I was not that wrong when I give away a rupee in alimony. However, I was not at all happy to convince myself this way!

Just then, THIS HAPPENED! This gentleman (in the photograph above) came along. He was an old man of around 50-55.....blind by both the eyes.....stains all over his face (possibly because of Small pox), in tattered clothes. But the most remarkable thing about this gentleman was that in spite of all odds, he was standing tall. He was not begging! He was selling useful little things one would require during a train journey (like paper soap, pan masala, etc). He was working all round the clock for his bread and butter.

I thought how easy was it for this man to beg! There could be no better excuse! (At least in India!)

But this man was dignity personified. He was (is) a real Hero.One could sense and smell the dignity of labour....the dignity of being a man! I was feeling proud to be a man. All my apprehensions were gone....I was instantly filled with hope and joy.

A Nuptial Dilemma !

One of my good friends told me recently that she is going to help a friend of hers to marry a boy of her choice, which their parents don't approve. The pair has been trying to convince their respective parents since a lince a long time, albeit unsuccessfully; hence they have decided to marry without their parents' will in the court of law.

My friend is worried that some of her good friends advise her not to support such a marriage.

I would like to air my view on this subject.

One knows one's parents and family the best. If he/she thinks that there is little chance that the family will approve of such a relation/marriage, he/she should not fall in love at the first place; i.e, 'Don't fall in love if you know you can not marry'!

However, fortunately or unfortunately, love (in most cases) happens spontaneously and subconsciously. One discovers oneself fully within its grasp when one realizes it.
What to do in such a situation?

Now there are three options open:

* You convince your parents/family and get married for good
* You can not convince, and still go with your beloved one, none-the-less
* You can not convince, so go with your parents and ditch your beloved

One would like to have the first option...if it is open though! However, the problem/argument lies with the next two options.Personally I would chose the second option, for:

* To marry the person you love is a commitment (if it is not defined/decided/understood otherwise earlier by thepartners)
* In most cases, even if you marry against your parents' wishes, the parents later on realize that the marriage after all is not that bad... and ultimately recognize it and accept it. So, it is a matter of time before everything settles down.

I would chose the third option only if it comes to a question of 'life and death', i.e., if there is a 'realistic' chance of someone becoming so depressed / disappointed by the situation that he/she might commit suicide or there is a chance of someone resorting to fatal violence. After all, 'Life' is above evrything else!

It is true that love marriages can fail, but so can arranged marriages! (Divorces are not the only indicator of failed marriages)

I don't suggest that 'marriage' has to be personal decision. In our society and culture, marriages are socially significant occasions and everybody is involved. But there should not be a veto power! The last decision need not remain with the parents or someone in particular. It can be a collective decision, with prime importance to the person getting married.

If he/she makes a wrong decision, he/she is going to suffer...and he/she can not blame it on others. The rigidty on part of the parents/family comes not from the concern/care but from the superficial notions of prestige and ego. In any case, a good parent has to have faith in their child! Support and faith on the part of the parents result in better relations in future and strengthen family bond.

It is pertinent that when the constitution has faith in an individual that he has the ability to chose the Head of the state, he certainly has the ability to chose a life partner for himself or herself!

GOD

Some days back my mother called me up and asked me not to visit any temple or place of worship! On enquiring, she told me that she had consulted one astrologer and he had suggested the same. Not that I am worried about this, but it makes me ponder whether this matters at all!

Since the time I have gained conscience, I have been trying to understand GOD. I don't believe in the conventional idea of 'GOD' (idols, temples, rituals, religions, etc), but I don't have disbelief in his presence either. I completely believe that HE is omnipresent, omniscient and omnipotent. But I have not found answers to three of my questions regarding GOD:

* If the universe is HIS creation, what is the purpose of it?
* Why is there so much of inequality in the world?
* Does HE have any control over us?

Whether I get the answers to these questions or not, I firmly believe in one thing though: 'ACTION'

A Train journey in India

A train journey is a rich experience, especially if one is travelling in India. A train passing through the length or bredth of the country contains a mini-India within it. One finds everything inside a train that makes India such a unique country in the world- 'unity in diversity'.

You will find people of all religions, castes, colours, languages, etc in the same compartment...sitting together, shoulder to shoulder...enjoying a chat ranging from politics to movies to sports and what not! This is really heartening to see, especially because we often find ourselves divided on caste, religion and language and have seen bloody fights at different points of time.

What I like the most is the kind of learning about how people live in different parts of India and how different is one culture from another within India. I can not be in all the different parts of the country to experience that; the train provides the opportunity to discover the same unfold in front of my eyes.

You will find abject poverty and overflowing prosperity living side by side. You will see absolute liberals and outright fundamentalists engaged in a solid discussion...mostly ending up in fierce arguments; a real learning experience for a silent observer!

A train journey is more of a learning experience and enjoyable too if you are travelling second class or third class...rather than the first class. The people travelling in first class seem to be more or less similar, wherever they belong; they have the similar life styles and mannerisms, etc.

People engage in good, long and absorbing discussions followed by an elongated period of silence. It seems as if a train journey has a life of its own : times of bustling activities and times of deadly inaction! If you have a little time on your hand, and want to discover India, a train journey is the ultimate option. No wonder then that Gandhiji started his political career in India with a train journey across India!

'Caste' is no great idea!

All great ideas have to stand the test of time. An idea may be great for the period it was conceived, but later on the times change ..... and circumstances change..... and with this changes the relevance of the idea. One such idea is the idea of 'caste'.

May be when the Indian society was divided on caste lines, it was a great idea as it brought about labour division and led to greater efficiency. But the problem started when the society was divided into classes on caste lines; the class hierarchy followed exactly the same caste hierarchy, i.e. the same upper castes became the higher classes too. This was because the works ascribed to the upper classes automatically yielded greater remunerations than the works ascribed to the lower castes.

Another great folly was that generations to follow would automatically fall in the same caste and hence do the same job and would get the same remuneration!

However, the greatest of the problems is the component of 'untouchability' woven intricately in the caste system. It is a blot on humanity! How can one justify the idea of an individual not touching another???!!!

Thus, I believe, 'caste' as an idea has failed the test of time.